He has a different definition for what it means to be gay. It’s a perversion. That’s what he was taught.
Gay folks were taught the same. The difference is experience showed gay folks something else. Something within themselves they couldn’t look away from.
You know experience is an excellent teacher. The best. You have to heed to what it tells you. Understand what it shows you. Make peace with it. Or end up broken.
Most gay men are broken. They see themselves as perversions. It’s what they were taught. They ignore the lessons experience shows them. They shun themselves. They forget that a modern day illiterate can read and write. He is simply bad at unlearning and relearning. Which is a ton harder than learning in the first place.
Give the straight guy a break. Experience will never show him what it’s shown you. You will never be able to show him in the way that she does. But you can try (to explain). You have to be literate. Get good at unlearning and relearning. So you can show him that all that he knows isn’t all that there is.
Regardless of what he says, You are Awesome.