I once had a crush on a guy. By my standards, he was the hottest guy at work. Also, the way he dressed set my gaydar ablaze. So I engineered a way to get us talking. I needed to be sure (because everything, besides his fashion sense, pointed to the chance that he fancied vaginas).
We became quick friends. During our friendship, he had an inclination to be touchy and had a tendency to say nice things in gestures even a rock would interpret as flirting. However, in all, It was his eyes that put things in proper perspective. My gaydar was right – he likes men.
My friend had a tendency to let his eyes dart in quick steps from head to toe of men he encountered. But when it came to women, his eyes remained fixed on their faces. The cleavage separated goodies that lay below their chin did little to stir his eyes.
By my standards, no regular straight man has that level of self control.
Stereotypes such as being clean and tidy, having a fashion sense and being friendly with men are ill ways to tell the sexual orientation of a man – especially with how more and more men are becoming in tune with their feminine side. The eyes, however, don’t lie. They follow what they like before the wielder gathers the awareness to exert conscious control.
So when next you suspect the sexual status of a man who has you reeling for affection (or you are simply curious), watch his eyes. If they linger on other men, chances are, if you are gay as well, you have found another man with a common interest.
The best way to gain clarity about a man’s sexual orientation is still to get a confirmation from him (usually, by asking). Though it can be helpful to ensure you have exhausted all options before you pull out the one with the highest risk.
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You are Awesome.
Question of the week: In addition to your gaydar, what are features you use to identify men who might be gay?