Life

You Say Cocksucker Like It’s A Bad Thing

Hollywood movies do a good job in revealing some perspective to certain things. I’ve never been called a cocksucker. But, I figured being called a cocksucker must be equivalent to being called a fag, or worse, woman wrapper.

I hated being called woman wrapper. It was the tone my classmates used that made it unbearable. A tone that hinted mockery, condescendence and irritation. I sometimes felt ostracized.

As a child, the concept of sex was always far away. My siblings knew little about it, my parents said nothing of it, and my older friends always felt there was no need to spoil a cute innocent child.

So, when I first got to boarding school at age 10 and heard the term “fag”, It was a huge relief from hearing “woman wrapper”. This one didn’t have mockery or condescendence attached to it, it only had irritation. I could deal with that. By now, I had developed a force field that made hurtful words hurt less. But, in this case, I didn’t know the meaning of fag.

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary made things a bit clear. It said: “Fag: An offensive word for a male homosexual.”

From there, I went on read the meaning of homosexual. Then, sexual, sex and intercourse. I remember still being a bit confused and thinking: why would anyone think I have a vagina for another man to have sexual intercourse with me? 

Having smart friends can be a curse. Well, not a curse. It’s just, some blessings can reveal truths that are better left unsaid.

A smart senior friend did a good job in explaining what he understood by the term “fag”. On hearing his explanation, the force field thickened into something impenetrable. I couldn’t comprehend the stupidity of humanity. So, I let it be. People only said what they felt like saying, it didn’t reflect me as a person.

In retrospect, the pain must have hit a threshold – a threshold that would make me objective in handling my emotions and the things I encountered.

I still can’t comprehend the stupidity of humanity. I am wiser now to know that such a generalization is flawed. Some humans can be good. Others can be stupid; stupid enough to go out of their way to offend others. Cocksucker is a contemptuous term. Much like fag and woman wrapper, It reveals some people refuse to utilize their capability to see the bliss of engaging in certain activities or being a certain way. They simply forget that one man’s food is another man’s poison.


Enjoy my Blog.

You are Awesome.


P.S: The photo of Darren Criss has little to do with this post. I just think he freaking gorgeous.

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