Life

On Being Gay

Living in certain parts of Nigeria is hard. It matters little how much you have, you will face some hardship. Be it from epileptic electricity, the jagajaja nature of roads, or the political uncertainty from having to witness what comes across as the maddening incompetence of those running the government. Being gay, and having to live with the nature, adds a unique layer to experiencing the problems. The unique feel is a problem. For me, it’s having to spend my days with a mental cautionary note suggesting the importance of keeping bits of myself at bay. “Don’t be too girly”, it notes, “People are looking!”. I feel all eyes are on me for being a dis-blending entity. Sometimes, when I am in a good mood, I feel the eyes should be on me. I expect them to be on me and I find myself scanning for those who might be looking. Of course this has problems, it leads to assuming that anyone looking at me does so because of my femininity; which often guides them a path of assumptive conclusion to my homosexuality. It is as though I have to watch my back at all times, not because the street of Lagos are unsafe but because I constantly suspect someone can act in a hostile manner simply from the awareness or suspicion that I am gay.

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Life

The Importance of Being A Slut

No one likes being called a slut, unless the one who accords us this title is that special person we have amorously awarded permission to do to us as they please. It is a label associated with the very essence of unholiness: the slut is the person who shows no restrain to the activity of sex. Female humans are particularly susceptible to being tagged this label, a tag often handed to them with tonal clarity pointing to the disgrace it is to become worthy of such a label.

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Life

On Coming Out

Courage is a laudable virtue. It is shown by those who act on their beliefs despite dangers and disapproval. But it’s becoming increasingly common to come across sentiments that confuse stupidity with courage. In the dynamic between out-gay-men and closeted-gay-men, the out-gay-man occupies the virtuous space of the brave. He has gone through the formidable task of revealing his reproached sexuality to the world. The closeted-gay-man is a coward. He timidly dances to the tune of those who sing his disapproval and have fraught his path with danger. The closeted man should, as the sentiment goes, (be made to) emulate his counterpart and live out and proud, irrespective of his unique situation.

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The Find

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Life, Prose

Deceitful Truth

You screamed don’t go when he made to leave. But he sat up and left. He didn’t hear you. No one heard you; thanked god they didn’t. The scream happened in your head, a psychic eruption to force the will of another, only to be stopped by a fear that doing so would be to reveal more than was allowed.

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