Living in certain parts of Nigeria is hard. It matters little how much you have, you will face some hardship. Be it from epileptic electricity, the jagajaja nature of roads, or the political uncertainty from having to witness what comes across as the maddening incompetence of those running the government. Being gay, and having to live with the nature, adds a unique layer to experiencing the problems. The unique feel is a problem. For me, it’s having to spend my days with a mental cautionary note suggesting the importance of keeping bits of myself at bay. “Don’t be too girly”, it notes, “People are looking!”. I feel all eyes are on me for being a dis-blending entity. Sometimes, when I am in a good mood, I feel the eyes should be on me. I expect them to be on me and I find myself scanning for those who might be looking. Of course this has problems, it leads to assuming that anyone looking at me does so because of my femininity; which often guides them a path of assumptive conclusion to my homosexuality. It is as though I have to watch my back at all times, not because the street of Lagos are unsafe but because I constantly suspect someone can act in a hostile manner simply from the awareness or suspicion that I am gay.