“Gay is such a good word for such a bad thing”, someone had said to me during a commute. I was startled, because I had singled out this person as one of the “enlightened” ones. Continue reading
When your preek is rising because of another man, there is only one way to put it. You are gay. You have all the right to deny it from others but try to defer from lying to yourself. If you must pick one, lying to yourself and lying to others, pick the latter. Never entertain pressure to admit anything to anyone. Admit your truth based on what makes you comfortable, what makes you feel safe.
You can say we are jealous. You guys get to enjoy that wonderful thing called love in all its romantic and classical goodness.
We know virtually nothing about ourselves because we judge ourselves before we have a chance to see ourselves
– Adams Phillips
In addition to building a reputation for being the go-to app for gay hook ups, Grindr has amassed a dark reputation that has left a lot of people suspicious of it. On a personal level, I would download Grindr in a world where I was predisposed to enjoy virtual social interactions (because almost every gay person I know has it in his phone). However I have trouble signing-in to smart phone applications like BBM and Whatsapp on my phone – let alone use them. I suspect a Grindr app on my phone will suffer the same fate. And I make decisions to use items based on their usefulness to me rather than by how many people use said items. This scribbling of thought, though, isn’t to make a case for or against Grindr. It is an attempt to bring some clarity to the claim that gay people in search of love need Grindr. It hopes to dismantle this premise in order to bring forth a truth and find out what we might do with what we find. Continue reading
If you are a man with a female flare chances are you’ve had people tell you to tone it down or to man up
Here are some reasons to ignore them and keep your fabulousity Continue reading
So I sat in a friend’s room last week laughing like a drunk hyena. As words flew from T.V speakers, words like why av you decided to do dis to me, you know hi lov you, in that way Yoruba people displace i and h, I sank deeper into drunken states, laughing and feeling immense gladness that the culprit for my madness was this guy: Continue reading